


I Remember

by Imposterzoe



Series: Oh to Remember, Oh to Forget [1]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Fic Exchange, Gift Fic, M/M, One Night Stands, One-Sided Attraction, Tw for excessive use of the word remember, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25029685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imposterzoe/pseuds/Imposterzoe
Summary: Jackie hates night likes tonight.Because all there is to do is remember the one thing he'd probably be better off forgetting.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Jackie Cox/Gigi Goode
Series: Oh to Remember, Oh to Forget [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928242
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	I Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Gift Fic for one Dawningofdrag! It's a bit angsty and kinda short but I hope you like it!
> 
> (P.s thanks to Vic for beta-ing and listening to me bitch)

Jackie hated nights like tonight. 

When his apartment felt too small and cluttered.

When it was too quiet and too loud all at once.

When he didn't want to be touched but he needed someone to hold him and not let go.

When he swore he was the loneliest person on earth.

On nights like tonight, he could feel the ghost of someone he didn't want to remember being with.

But he could feel the memories whispering against his skin, the details long since burned onto him.

He could remember the feeling of long legs intertwined with his own.

Of thin arms wrapped around his stomach.

Of brown hair that tickled his chin and warm breath that brushed his collarbone. 

He could remember the moment he realized he was in love. 

And he remembered the pain of knowing that it would never be real.

Curling into himself, tears started to drip down the side of his face. His heart ached. 

Soon he was convulsing with sobs and his pillow was soaked and dear god he needed a hug.

But the one person he would accept it from was in another man's arms, on the other side of the country. 

He jumped as his phone vibrated next to him, lighting up with Gigi's face. 

He didn't know why he picked up. He knew it would just hurt.

"Hey." He whispered, blushing as his voice broke.

"Hi. Are you ok?" Gigi's voice was just as quiet as his. Just as broken. 

He laughed lightly. "No. Are you?"

"I'm lonely." Came the response. He could hear soft sniffling. "I miss you."

His fingers curl into the sheets. "I miss you too."  _ So much more than you know. _

They sit in silence for a minute and it becomes obvious that they're both crying.

"Why are you crying?" He chokes out, sobs caught in his throat.

"Me and Crystal had a fight." Gigi blew his nose. "He left a few hours ago and he won't answer my calls."

"Figures." He muttered.  _ Do you only miss me when you two are fighting? _

"What?" 

"Nothing."

Their silence was tense now.

"Why are  _ you _ crying?" Gigi pressed.

_ Because you're with him and not me. _ "Just too quiet. Thinking too much." 

"About what?"

"You." He whispers, remembering plump lips on his.

"Me." He wipes his eyes, remembering fingers wound tight in his hair.

"Us." He remembered hoping against hope that he wouldn't wake up alone.

And he remembered how, much like tonight, wave after wave of tears fell from his eyes when he did.

"What about us?" Gigi said, reminding Jackie of his existence. 

"Do you remember that night we were together?" He asked.

_ Do you remember me kissing you breathless? _

_ Do you remember digging your nails into my shoulders? _

_ Do you remember me having to press your face into the pillow to keep you quiet? _

_ Do you remember me pressing you to my chest and holding you tight until morning? _

_ Do you remember me saying that I loved you? _

_ Do you remember leaving? _

"No." 

"I do."


End file.
